the basics
I’ve read a few blogs written by other women going through breast cancer and they have been so helpful, especially the ones written by mamas with young children like me. You just don’t expect to hear the words breast cancer at 34, with a four year old and a tiny baby depending on you, but here we are. It can be lonely, it can feel like your whole life has been thrown off course, and although you wish nobody else had to experience it, it helps to know it’s not just you. So, I’m blogging too and maybe some part of my experience will help someone else feel less alone.
Almost nine months ago I gave birth to our second baby, Elliott. He was a complete surprise (we had done years of fertility treatments and IVF to have our first, so we never imagined we’d be blessed with another), and he is wonderful. Seriously, he’s amazing!
Elliott had some issues breastfeeding, so I’d often do compressions to help him get enough milk. At some point I started feeling a lump on the bottom side of my left breast. At first I thought it was a plugged duct, but it didn’t change. I had a bad feeling about it (always trust your feelings) so I had my doctor send me for an ultrasound. She called me within an hour of my returning home to let me know the findings were irregular (I had an enlarged lymph node as well) and the breast centre at a local hospital would be calling in the next day or two. It took them two weeks and a lot of miscommunication, but I got in and had another ultrasound, two biopsies, and a mammogram. The results showed cancer cells in the tumor and my lymph node. Over the next two weeks I had all kinds of scans and tests to see if it had spread beyond my lymph nodes (it hasn’t, thankfully), if my heart can handle chemo (I have a heart condition that’s been with me since childhood, and it complicates things a bit), and genetic testing as my mom is a brca1 carrier. I have triple negative brca1 positive stage 3 breast cancer. We made a plan, and now we fight!
My first scheduled chemo treatment was delayed a week because I started a medication to help protect my heart that as a side effect caused my blood pressure to drop to 67/42 and my pulse to drop to 39. I’m normally a solid 100/80, 75-85 (an athlete I am not), so my oncologist delayed it. Probably for the best as I ended up in the ER two days later slurring my speech and feeling fuzzy. It was bad, but we sorted it out and all is well, and last Friday I had my first chemo session. The session itself was totally uneventful. I expected to feel awful right away, but didn’t. I am receiving docetaxel (also known as taxotere.. this autocorrected as taco tree, which I am finding way too amusing. laughs where you can get them, right?) and cyclophosphamide. I only have four sessions, three weeks apart, because of my heart, then surgery (a double mastectomy because of the brca1 positive), radiation on my lymph nodes, and chemotherapy in pill form afterward. Eventually I will opt for reconstruction, and I am meeting with the high risk program to discuss my ovaries (brca1 positive means I have a higher risk of developing ovarian cancer).
After my first chemo session my face turned completely red and now I am dealing with the worst acne I’ve had since I was 14 (nobody mentioned that as a possible side effect!). The hardest part has been the bone pain from the docetaxel and the neulasta injection I take after chemo. It gets excruciating, which I’ve read happens to some and not to others, and sometimes only happens the first time (fingers crossed). The pain is actually worse than labour and they only prescribe Aleve for it (hah!). I haven’t had many other issues yet, just palpitations, stomach cramps, and insomnia even though I’m exhausted. Luckily, I have an amazing family to help with the boys and make sure they’re cared for while I am out of commission. My husband has been incredible, and I cannot thank my mom enough for everything she’s doing for us. Having a good support system helps so much.
Trying to “stay positive” (everyone really does say this a lot, don’t they?).
Almost nine months ago I gave birth to our second baby, Elliott. He was a complete surprise (we had done years of fertility treatments and IVF to have our first, so we never imagined we’d be blessed with another), and he is wonderful. Seriously, he’s amazing!
Elliott had some issues breastfeeding, so I’d often do compressions to help him get enough milk. At some point I started feeling a lump on the bottom side of my left breast. At first I thought it was a plugged duct, but it didn’t change. I had a bad feeling about it (always trust your feelings) so I had my doctor send me for an ultrasound. She called me within an hour of my returning home to let me know the findings were irregular (I had an enlarged lymph node as well) and the breast centre at a local hospital would be calling in the next day or two. It took them two weeks and a lot of miscommunication, but I got in and had another ultrasound, two biopsies, and a mammogram. The results showed cancer cells in the tumor and my lymph node. Over the next two weeks I had all kinds of scans and tests to see if it had spread beyond my lymph nodes (it hasn’t, thankfully), if my heart can handle chemo (I have a heart condition that’s been with me since childhood, and it complicates things a bit), and genetic testing as my mom is a brca1 carrier. I have triple negative brca1 positive stage 3 breast cancer. We made a plan, and now we fight!
My first scheduled chemo treatment was delayed a week because I started a medication to help protect my heart that as a side effect caused my blood pressure to drop to 67/42 and my pulse to drop to 39. I’m normally a solid 100/80, 75-85 (an athlete I am not), so my oncologist delayed it. Probably for the best as I ended up in the ER two days later slurring my speech and feeling fuzzy. It was bad, but we sorted it out and all is well, and last Friday I had my first chemo session. The session itself was totally uneventful. I expected to feel awful right away, but didn’t. I am receiving docetaxel (also known as taxotere.. this autocorrected as taco tree, which I am finding way too amusing. laughs where you can get them, right?) and cyclophosphamide. I only have four sessions, three weeks apart, because of my heart, then surgery (a double mastectomy because of the brca1 positive), radiation on my lymph nodes, and chemotherapy in pill form afterward. Eventually I will opt for reconstruction, and I am meeting with the high risk program to discuss my ovaries (brca1 positive means I have a higher risk of developing ovarian cancer).
After my first chemo session my face turned completely red and now I am dealing with the worst acne I’ve had since I was 14 (nobody mentioned that as a possible side effect!). The hardest part has been the bone pain from the docetaxel and the neulasta injection I take after chemo. It gets excruciating, which I’ve read happens to some and not to others, and sometimes only happens the first time (fingers crossed). The pain is actually worse than labour and they only prescribe Aleve for it (hah!). I haven’t had many other issues yet, just palpitations, stomach cramps, and insomnia even though I’m exhausted. Luckily, I have an amazing family to help with the boys and make sure they’re cared for while I am out of commission. My husband has been incredible, and I cannot thank my mom enough for everything she’s doing for us. Having a good support system helps so much.
Trying to “stay positive” (everyone really does say this a lot, don’t they?).
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