After Chemo #2 and #3
My second chemo session happened several Fridays ago, and never again am I doing my blood work the day of! The line was over two hours long, and even though there was a sign saying patients with chemo sessions that day took priority, it wasn’t actually true and none of the staff even realized it was there until I pointed it out. After all the wait, they didn’t have my requisition in the system, so we had to wait more. There was even more confusion when the hospital’s card system malfunctioned and said I had already seen the nurse when I hadn’t. It was frustrating, but the nurse I did see was wonderful and pushed us up. Thank goodness for amazing nurses. I’ve had so many amazing nurses and they make all the difference in the world. I was completely unprepared for how different chemo would be from the first, but I guess chemo affects every body differently. I did get the dizziness and headaches right away and had to stay a while afterward just to make sure things were fine. I still got the dreaded bone pain, even though my dose of docetaxel was reduced by 15%, but I skipped the cystic acne this time. In fact, I didn’t have one pimple until today. I’ve been super strict about skincare and have been moisturizing 3-4 times a day because of how much chemo has dried out my skin. I’m going through so much moisturizer! I even moisturize my head. A new symptom I had this time was swollen lymph nodes in my neck. I had a fever at one point, but not enough to worry.
I had my worst day so far the Wednesday afterward. I was dizzy, weak, and so sore I couldn’t even hold my baby. It felt awful not being able to do anything, but I’m working at giving myself permission to feel awful and rest when I need to. Bad days are expected. Thankfully I felt much better by the weekend, because we had my older son’s fifth birthday party on the Saturday. We had planned it to be furthest from my last chemo treatment, but since my initial chemo treatment was delayed a week, it didn’t happen that way. I was very adamant about him having a birthday party because I want things as normal as possible for him. We rented a play place instead of having it at home (to avoid all the stress and cleanup), and he had the best time with his friends.
I had a bit of a cold before chemo #3 and my oncologist gave us the choice to postpone a week or go ahead since my blood levels were good. I decided I wanted to get it over with, which was probably a mistake. I didn’t feel too badly until Sunday (my chemo was on Friday morning), and by Monday evening my blood pressure tanked, I was lightheaded, I had diarrhea that wouldn’t stop so I was dehydrated, I had a bit of a fever, and I just felt terrible. We went to the ER and stayed there for the next three days (it seems like a bad idea to keep a chemo patient in the ER that long, exposed to everything coming through). I was waiting to go to the ICU from the first night we were there, but no beds opened up. At first they gave me fluids, but fluid was backing up into my lungs so they couldn’t give me too much too fast. My heart started having arrhythmias, probably from the dehydration, so I was put on a magnesium drip that seemed to help. They put me on medication to raise my blood pressure and on antibiotics, and otherwise seemed to take a wait and see approach because nobody could figure out what was going on aside from a possible UTI. It was very frustrating. I was able to wean off the blood pressure medication and keep my pressure up myself by Wednesday night, and we were cleared to go home by Thursday morning, except the ICU doctors decided to transfer my care to oncology even though I hadn’t met with them at all. Oncology said they were too busy to see me, so we waited until the afternoon when my oncologist (she’s in the same hospital) came down to see me and decided she would discharge me because they were planning to move a very sick patient who was throwing up everywhere in the bed next to me. I know it’s an ER and this is what happens, I just really didn’t want to come out worse. I was feeling much better on Thursday once we left the hospital, on Friday, and this morning. This afternoon I started coughing (my lungs are collecting fluid) and I have a fever that’s borderline ok for a chemo patient. I really don’t want to go back to the hospital. I missed my babies so much, and it was just an awful experience. Are they going to do much more than I could do at home? Knowing when to go in is a hard decision. You don’t want to unnecessarily put yourself at risk of getting sicker, but you don’t want to leave a potentially dangerous issue festering for too long. For now I’m taking a cue from my ER doctors and we’ll wait and see.
I think this hospital experience broke me a bit. I wasn’t worried about chemo before, it was just something I had to get through. I was so positive, even though I had bad days. The first 24 hours in the hospital were scary, hearing monitors go off, being called an ICU patient, and having the doctor tell me the medication I was on was considered life support. Seeing peoples’ reactions and hearing how worried they were was hard. It’s the first time I acknowledged that there is a very small possibility that side effects from chemo could kill me. That I actually am sick. I need to find the strength in me to get through these next two weeks and my last chemo session. Hopefully things will calm down tonight and I won’t need any more hospital visits until my surgery. I need to be home with my family. My amazing family who made sure everything was taken care of while I was away. I am so lucky to have such good support from friends and family. My oncologist is lowering my docetaxyl dose by 25% and I have the option to postpone chemo an extra week, which I may actually do this time.
That’s everything. I’ll try to update more frequently and even post about different topics rather than just updates.
I had my worst day so far the Wednesday afterward. I was dizzy, weak, and so sore I couldn’t even hold my baby. It felt awful not being able to do anything, but I’m working at giving myself permission to feel awful and rest when I need to. Bad days are expected. Thankfully I felt much better by the weekend, because we had my older son’s fifth birthday party on the Saturday. We had planned it to be furthest from my last chemo treatment, but since my initial chemo treatment was delayed a week, it didn’t happen that way. I was very adamant about him having a birthday party because I want things as normal as possible for him. We rented a play place instead of having it at home (to avoid all the stress and cleanup), and he had the best time with his friends.
I had a bit of a cold before chemo #3 and my oncologist gave us the choice to postpone a week or go ahead since my blood levels were good. I decided I wanted to get it over with, which was probably a mistake. I didn’t feel too badly until Sunday (my chemo was on Friday morning), and by Monday evening my blood pressure tanked, I was lightheaded, I had diarrhea that wouldn’t stop so I was dehydrated, I had a bit of a fever, and I just felt terrible. We went to the ER and stayed there for the next three days (it seems like a bad idea to keep a chemo patient in the ER that long, exposed to everything coming through). I was waiting to go to the ICU from the first night we were there, but no beds opened up. At first they gave me fluids, but fluid was backing up into my lungs so they couldn’t give me too much too fast. My heart started having arrhythmias, probably from the dehydration, so I was put on a magnesium drip that seemed to help. They put me on medication to raise my blood pressure and on antibiotics, and otherwise seemed to take a wait and see approach because nobody could figure out what was going on aside from a possible UTI. It was very frustrating. I was able to wean off the blood pressure medication and keep my pressure up myself by Wednesday night, and we were cleared to go home by Thursday morning, except the ICU doctors decided to transfer my care to oncology even though I hadn’t met with them at all. Oncology said they were too busy to see me, so we waited until the afternoon when my oncologist (she’s in the same hospital) came down to see me and decided she would discharge me because they were planning to move a very sick patient who was throwing up everywhere in the bed next to me. I know it’s an ER and this is what happens, I just really didn’t want to come out worse. I was feeling much better on Thursday once we left the hospital, on Friday, and this morning. This afternoon I started coughing (my lungs are collecting fluid) and I have a fever that’s borderline ok for a chemo patient. I really don’t want to go back to the hospital. I missed my babies so much, and it was just an awful experience. Are they going to do much more than I could do at home? Knowing when to go in is a hard decision. You don’t want to unnecessarily put yourself at risk of getting sicker, but you don’t want to leave a potentially dangerous issue festering for too long. For now I’m taking a cue from my ER doctors and we’ll wait and see.
I think this hospital experience broke me a bit. I wasn’t worried about chemo before, it was just something I had to get through. I was so positive, even though I had bad days. The first 24 hours in the hospital were scary, hearing monitors go off, being called an ICU patient, and having the doctor tell me the medication I was on was considered life support. Seeing peoples’ reactions and hearing how worried they were was hard. It’s the first time I acknowledged that there is a very small possibility that side effects from chemo could kill me. That I actually am sick. I need to find the strength in me to get through these next two weeks and my last chemo session. Hopefully things will calm down tonight and I won’t need any more hospital visits until my surgery. I need to be home with my family. My amazing family who made sure everything was taken care of while I was away. I am so lucky to have such good support from friends and family. My oncologist is lowering my docetaxyl dose by 25% and I have the option to postpone chemo an extra week, which I may actually do this time.
That’s everything. I’ll try to update more frequently and even post about different topics rather than just updates.
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